Joke

[Tiger-Eyes]

A man walks into a chemists and wanders up and down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle. A few minutes later, he deposits a huge bag of cottonballs and a ball of string on the counter.
She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some tampons for your wife?
He answers, " You see, it's like this.........yesterday, I asked my wife if she'd get me a packet of cigarettes while she was out, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers; cause it's sooo-ooo--oo-ooo much cheaper.

So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......

[Roving Rangies]

Ho hum! :blink: can you please explain the joke to me please! :(

[nobbynobbs]

but why was he even going to the chemist anyway what was wrong with her legs?

mind you got him out of earshot for a few minutes.

single life does have it's advantages. :lol:

[Roving Rangies]

don't get me on the Essex girl joke about Crabs, cords and bungie jumping!

[MK Wotsit]

My Husband bought me a mood ring so he could monitor my mood when it changes colour.
When I'm in a good mood, it turns green.
When I'm in a bad mood it leaves a big red mark on his forehead!
Next time he might buy me a diamond! ;)

[nobbynobbs]

what and give you something even harder to cut him with!!!!!!! :o

[Mrs Blorenge]

What do you get if you cross a sheep and a bee?

[t.a.folk]

beep!

[Mrs Blorenge]

Originally posted by t.a.folk@Dec 23 2006, 02:35 PM
beep!
Nope.... better than a beep ;)

[Roving Rangies]

a Sheeee?

[Mrs Blorenge]

Nooooooooo........















..... a Baaah humbug! :D :P

[t.a.folk]

beep! beep!

[Graculus]

Bloke comes home work and says to his wife, "Darling, I've invited the boss home for dinner". After a brief moment of panic, wife regains composure and checks the cupboards for things for dinner. "We need to impress the boss," she says, "go and get some escargot from the deli down the road."
Bloke duly goes off to the deli and gets the escargot. On his way out he meets an old mate who persuades him to come and have a drink. Bloke is reluctant buts gives in. An hour later he suddenly realises he should be home, drinks the last pints and off he goes down the road to his house. When he gets there he can't find his keys and in a panic realises he'll have to ring the doorbell! He does so, expecting his darling wife to open it in a foul temper and give him hell, so just as she opens the door he throws the escargot on the garden path and as the door opens says, "come on chaps, nearly home......."

[Mrs Blorenge]

Three Welshmen and three Englishmen are travelling by train to a rugby match in Cardiff. At the station the 3 English each buy a ticket and then watch as the 3 Welsh buy just one ticket between them. "How are the 3 of you going to travel on just one ticket?", asks one of the English. "Watch and learn..." answers one of the Welsh.
They board the train. The English take their seats, but all 3 Welsh cram into a toilet and close the dooor behind them. Soon after departure, the conductor comes through the train to collect the tickets. He knocks on the toilet door and says, "Tickets please". The door opens just a crack, and a single arm emerges with the one ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on...
The English are mightily impressed by this scam so after the game, they decide to copy the Welsh (as they do) on the return journey and save some money. When they get to the station they buy just a single ticket for the return trip... but to their astonishment, the Welsh don't buy a ticket at all! "How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed English fan. "Watch and learn..." say the Welshmen.
When they board the train the 3 Welsh cram into a toilet and soon after the English fans pile into another nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterwards, one of the Welshmen leaves their toilet and sneaks across to the toilet where the English are hiding. he knocks on the door and says, "TICKETS PLEASE..."
;)

[nobbynobbs]

what's the difference between unlawfull and illegal?


one's against the law.... and the other is a sick bird!

[t.a.folk]

The old ones are the best :D .and short and sweet ... just like me :lol: ;)

[Roving Rangies]

Originally posted by t.a.folk@Dec 30 2006, 04:13 PM
The old ones are the best :D .and short and sweet ... just like me :lol: ;)
Nausea sweeps through my body! :wacko:

[nobbynobbs]

so you're admitting to being an oversweetened small old person? :lol: :lol:

or maybe it was a spelling mistake and you meant to say small old sweat! :blink:

[t.a.folk]

All of them . :lol:

[Mrs Blorenge]

On the principle that the old ones are the best...

Why is a Christmas tree better than a man?

[Mrs Blorenge]

... Because it's always erect, stays up for 12 days and nights, has cute balls and looks good with the lights on. :D

(MrsB ducks behind the sofa to avoid any accusations of sexist jokes...)

( :rolleyes: It's OK...I can take any retaliation! :P )

[Roving Rangies]

Brilliant Mrs B! Both myself and my sons girlfriend thought the joke was OH SO TRUE!! :lol:

Vivien

[nobbynobbs]

:lol: :lol: :lol:

[nobbynobbs]

don't know about a joke but this is funny. you tube pg tips advert.

you tube (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PymR_mDGutg&eurl=) :lol:

[Roving Rangies]

don't you think I have anything better than watching ALL of the PG tips adverts???

They were BRILLIANT!

[nobbynobbs]

i know for a fact you've nothing better to do. :lol: